Commercial Parody

This week I was asked to write a Commercial Parody..

Here:
Family Vacation.




Critique from Class:

First, formatting feedback.  No need to have Cut To: if you're changing scenes.. the INT/EXT takes care of that.  use Cut To: if you're staying in the same scene. 

Next, the thoughts were basically that it would be funnier to have the family start to convert to the pirates.  Kids can shoot machine guns, Mom gets seduced by one of the warlords...etc.  Dad is the only one who is having a bad time, tied up, beaten..etc.

Then showing more 'vacation' type things in Somalia..   Like hang-gliding.. dad with a black bag on his head tied up..   floating up in the air behind a boat.  Kids firing AK-47's off the front of the boat..  You know.. real pirate vacations...

I tend to agree.